Germ Humor

Science Humor - Educational Innovations NewsletterGerms are everywhere.  We could say they’re nothing to sneeze at, but that would be a pretty lame joke.

Enjoy these jokes and comics, share them with your students.  Why not insert a few riddles into a quiz or homework page?  Extra credit points for students who guess the right punchline!

If you have a favorite germ-related cartoon or joke, insert it below as a comment, or email us at

Happy teaching!

Why did the germ cross the microscope?
To get to the other slide.

Two bacteria walk into a restaurant.
The hostess looks at them and says, “Sorry, we don’t serve bacteria.”
The two bacteria reply, “But hey, we’re the STAPH!”

germ newsletter

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Which runs faster, a hot or a cold?
A hot, because anyone can catch a cold!

What do you call an amoeba that crosses the road, jumps in a mud puddle and crosses the road again?
A dirty double-crosser.

What is bacteria?
The rear entrance to cafeterias.

What do you get when you cross a rabbit with an amoeba?
And amoebit.  It can multiply and divide at the same time!

Our favorite bumper sticker:  “Support Bacteria, it’s the only culture we have left.”

Why did the paramecium cross the road?
He was stuck to the chicken’s butt.

What type of flowers do bacteria like?

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